Planet Taiwan

On July 28th, 2007, I landed on a strange planet called Taiwan. I originally left my home planet in search of adventure, knowledge, and enhancement of opportunity. I found much more than what I had expected.

Taiwan is a very small planet with a dense population. The locals insist on living in small boxes which are stacked up against each other. While on my home planet, these arrangements exist but are usually only populated with those lack the finances to afford a proper house, college age youth, or the elderly. However, this seems to be the preferred living space in this region of the universe.

Transportation can be a scary thing here. Most Taiwanese ride around on gas-powered bicycles that they refer to as “scooters”. They really do scoot around quite nicely. I’ve become fond of my scooter and I’ve even become accustomed to the utter and complete disregard for traffic laws. Sure, there are red, yellow and green lights but these rules seem more like suggestions as they are ignored by most of the population.

Law is a tricky concept on this planet in itself. For example, the police ride around in their vehicles with their lights flashing to alert people that they are on duty. It’s really a nice warning. I take heed to watch my speed and my scooting habits while the lights are on. However, local residents are often spotted running red lights, going down one-way streets in the wrong direction, and generally defying all traffic laws in the presence of these vehicles. I’m confused as to the purpose of these police officers.

The language on Planet Taiwan is another story entirely. People often seem angry when they are talking with each other for no particular reason. Also, it often sounds as if they are singing, constantly confused, or incredibly frustrated. However, I’m learning the native tongue and I can assure you that this is all done for the purpose of communication and not only to confuse aliens such as myself.

Being an alien is a unique position to placed in. I have a special card that I’m supposed to carry around at all times in case my planet of origin is ever enquired about the “law”. The government even gave me a local name of Bu Hei Di. Which I hear roughly translates to “Sea Tree Branch”. It’s a little disconcerting but local citizens make no qualms about staring profusely at me as I walk around. The youth will often point and shout when they see me and their parents do not seem to find this rude and will sometimes join in on the pointing. I can’t really blame them because maybe they have only heard about aliens such as myself from their major sources of media.

My overall impressions thus far have been positive. Often the locals, while surprised by my presence, are ultimately very helpful and sympathetic to my many plights. They respond to my butchering of their native tongue and many even speak my language as well. All necessary goods such as food, gas, clothes, and rent are kept at livable standards. Health care is extremely cheap and widely available. My complaints are often balanced by my rave reviews and I think I will stick around this planet for a time more to see what else is store for me here. Once I have gained a mastery of the native tongue, I will surely move on to other parts in this galaxy which I’m much more comfortable with. For example, I hear Planet Argentina is beautiful with a warm and familiar culture.

Signing out from P.T.,

Your Favorite E.T., Bu Hei Di